tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-49178876706425259582023-11-16T05:04:38.447-08:00Just Joking Around - Humor Is SanityNever lose your sense of humor. It's the only truly effective defense against arrogant stupidity.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger131125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917887670642525958.post-39669286197706235632013-02-21T14:01:00.001-08:002013-02-21T14:01:44.483-08:00Obamacare Reality<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXTchZt-U0L3OulNP_05gHwsAsh22T8czyVAQDy9QWI7CGqzph1WPcklB9P3Xgm3egDonKbsu_P_2CkemBLeWIuo7mCHb2T303HKcnOffWsYMBm-Rgs_49NRFSOg3ydf88_WqorhBg6vTL/s1600/obamcare+logo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXTchZt-U0L3OulNP_05gHwsAsh22T8czyVAQDy9QWI7CGqzph1WPcklB9P3Xgm3egDonKbsu_P_2CkemBLeWIuo7mCHb2T303HKcnOffWsYMBm-Rgs_49NRFSOg3ydf88_WqorhBg6vTL/s1600/obamcare+logo.jpg" /></a></div>
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Dear Mr. Patient,</div>
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We have re-examined the test results and found that the bright red ring around your penis was lipstick and not cancer.</div>
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We sincerely apologize for the amputation.</div>
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Your local healthcare provider.</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917887670642525958.post-89915319177449295362013-01-21T15:39:00.001-08:002013-01-21T15:39:57.710-08:00Why Barack Needs Bill<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYNny_SCe6gVapcI-i_GO6Sm7rW6stPmrCH6n6t7fZmSGvf4Sy4BizQQrooEPzD_stsseFuejGuWSHSKQV06ipaa4IaSvAJnHViBkZNJjbN9TkEuFwVGLXksBRuGE3C9iRnTrKI5mVheGB/s1600/cigar+lessons.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYNny_SCe6gVapcI-i_GO6Sm7rW6stPmrCH6n6t7fZmSGvf4Sy4BizQQrooEPzD_stsseFuejGuWSHSKQV06ipaa4IaSvAJnHViBkZNJjbN9TkEuFwVGLXksBRuGE3C9iRnTrKI5mVheGB/s320/cigar+lessons.jpg" width="244" /></a></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917887670642525958.post-27589797116718827312012-12-22T14:05:00.001-08:002012-12-22T14:05:56.363-08:00Holiday Greetings From Washington, DC!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dx3sEnCaJ8rv0rt6eGG6pOCH4zwtV0E1-lpqNhDz1i5Bl1wDbqCvwLUiv5FYeUdQycwMdTOxLc5B2V83K4SEw' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917887670642525958.post-68101610899768492462012-06-24T05:33:00.000-07:002012-06-24T05:33:15.566-07:00China In Space<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSqYa6-kjT26mQhr-xhlEhUnbHg9lvRylTqqlTkAwR4cNEoM2KFQjs5cf3CyizFCflYuV7HnJfSi8CmhAnOIbExKYq6QSS9OvuMMb4KrVFJ_LBzPIeHavOKzZ9PiUOdBM5ICEwefJ7PInP/s1600/china+in+space.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="474" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSqYa6-kjT26mQhr-xhlEhUnbHg9lvRylTqqlTkAwR4cNEoM2KFQjs5cf3CyizFCflYuV7HnJfSi8CmhAnOIbExKYq6QSS9OvuMMb4KrVFJ_LBzPIeHavOKzZ9PiUOdBM5ICEwefJ7PInP/s640/china+in+space.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917887670642525958.post-34552471850968289812012-06-24T05:14:00.002-07:002012-06-24T05:15:17.974-07:00Lessons In Track & Field<span style="font-size: large;">The wrong way to pass the baton...</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0aJFLjxNx1hhJ7q82_C3Xu_5x7okIcpgEc1-dePX-3GqdioAyQmBwzLfJubvRAwLUHv3nxy3WsDk9UbReBRzsVYfQVcvOJUTWyOoLy5w6VRR66ndReBVAYOFTpKD_cRYb2_t98Pva4dCg/s1600/wrong+way.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="458" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0aJFLjxNx1hhJ7q82_C3Xu_5x7okIcpgEc1-dePX-3GqdioAyQmBwzLfJubvRAwLUHv3nxy3WsDk9UbReBRzsVYfQVcvOJUTWyOoLy5w6VRR66ndReBVAYOFTpKD_cRYb2_t98Pva4dCg/s640/wrong+way.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917887670642525958.post-26646516116508550622012-06-24T05:11:00.001-07:002012-06-24T05:11:39.166-07:00Express Yourself<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Don't hold back, tell it like it is...</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlWhUVB0CHlHIBwY07l0zQIbN-m1Ak2wY4mGc-caHa-ZMPpwknMi7dD2Qbdb0GU3P0t-OJEcFM98-4gp4vyQ8-RSqcj0AaSvqd4YMMi5v791BaL2Pfvj2E9pqvtMszjTRZlhTe-DjUZ254/s1600/this-is-what-i-think.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="464" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlWhUVB0CHlHIBwY07l0zQIbN-m1Ak2wY4mGc-caHa-ZMPpwknMi7dD2Qbdb0GU3P0t-OJEcFM98-4gp4vyQ8-RSqcj0AaSvqd4YMMi5v791BaL2Pfvj2E9pqvtMszjTRZlhTe-DjUZ254/s640/this-is-what-i-think.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917887670642525958.post-70794210755700662322012-06-24T05:06:00.002-07:002012-06-24T05:06:37.327-07:00Baby Sitting Today<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">What a girl has to do for work these days...</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh01x4rNV52l5iF75otRDe2IoXMuLFMZ4qHb08x8Qo9XWV76bWPVZV_aC0-eYWgRYaCG4EQl1vnevi3hu4xOFibb5pHe5lRMjq8PA-Y2q2VOjMEsCTZ5gJDdZvtlztkrFKHFOrevAQVpUBs/s1600/babysitting+today.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh01x4rNV52l5iF75otRDe2IoXMuLFMZ4qHb08x8Qo9XWV76bWPVZV_aC0-eYWgRYaCG4EQl1vnevi3hu4xOFibb5pHe5lRMjq8PA-Y2q2VOjMEsCTZ5gJDdZvtlztkrFKHFOrevAQVpUBs/s640/babysitting+today.jpg" width="252" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917887670642525958.post-35299482995310726002012-05-10T15:45:00.001-07:002012-05-10T15:45:52.322-07:00What's For Dinner?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC0E9EiK_47BvFcPuRJ_dIUILHtl5sAz6ymi1jB46Vlv6czfp2nF9KW1GALDkbubsD-ZMAsJUVT2iXMF8sgTHe5ZMpHiGwtNbusYvjaVsy9CGl-VjnZnxYHauGPRsXbuRitHppVPgUL1oP/s1600/obese+america.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="492" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC0E9EiK_47BvFcPuRJ_dIUILHtl5sAz6ymi1jB46Vlv6czfp2nF9KW1GALDkbubsD-ZMAsJUVT2iXMF8sgTHe5ZMpHiGwtNbusYvjaVsy9CGl-VjnZnxYHauGPRsXbuRitHppVPgUL1oP/s640/obese+america.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917887670642525958.post-36683823480236761462012-05-10T15:43:00.001-07:002012-05-10T15:43:50.835-07:00Jokin' Joe Hits A Homo Run<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFp4vnZzEKYBqkNR911Uyb-3Yfjq8pe7d7bw0M23X26XXo0KhQfLNDzTH3bcOjt_3ttqdfSg7EHlVPPPv853KRd5maNkn9i0Hr_rauILGVOnsWn1JMQXmEjb8WqLXKX8p96a0YWL8Qu11o/s1600/biden+isn't+sorry.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="538" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFp4vnZzEKYBqkNR911Uyb-3Yfjq8pe7d7bw0M23X26XXo0KhQfLNDzTH3bcOjt_3ttqdfSg7EHlVPPPv853KRd5maNkn9i0Hr_rauILGVOnsWn1JMQXmEjb8WqLXKX8p96a0YWL8Qu11o/s640/biden+isn't+sorry.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917887670642525958.post-59750497283911342982012-05-10T15:21:00.001-07:002012-05-10T15:21:48.683-07:00<br />
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Obama Backs Gay Marriage</h1>
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Shift Could Energize Conservative Opponents; Timing Seen as Politically Risky</h2>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOBE_ahGu5IX-J0odZ_t0sgviWN2qmreBt8t2WyXaLOUev11DVSs4by8O7xNr1Z2ii5xN5nN09gCy7MAMsURhpbj0mE5qqb2U78WdNjSjv-alzjxeOzOuUlsvLBeyQEmHH5_75i3tTs10x/s1600/obama+likes+gay+voters.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="454" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOBE_ahGu5IX-J0odZ_t0sgviWN2qmreBt8t2WyXaLOUev11DVSs4by8O7xNr1Z2ii5xN5nN09gCy7MAMsURhpbj0mE5qqb2U78WdNjSjv-alzjxeOzOuUlsvLBeyQEmHH5_75i3tTs10x/s640/obama+likes+gay+voters.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917887670642525958.post-23018557803397120102012-05-10T15:15:00.001-07:002012-05-10T15:15:45.334-07:00Don't Take Rocket Advice From North Korea<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh19IR8y1c_rkSAoJXQk6xu-PY57LZjlPIjQuKw-eQFByecFwU5OWf2DBbd0RL_uvvgr8SXzWpEfsVzR27HWTtGjzYCohRYs8rzeBeYtorwRCzmQZNmQYNpxFKwvBYvqdbsAGOsuDl1lMX6/s1600/iran+monkey.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="550" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh19IR8y1c_rkSAoJXQk6xu-PY57LZjlPIjQuKw-eQFByecFwU5OWf2DBbd0RL_uvvgr8SXzWpEfsVzR27HWTtGjzYCohRYs8rzeBeYtorwRCzmQZNmQYNpxFKwvBYvqdbsAGOsuDl1lMX6/s640/iran+monkey.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">We hope the nuclear thing goes better!</span></td></tr>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917887670642525958.post-58601265865573481312012-03-22T13:48:00.000-07:002012-03-22T13:48:50.459-07:00The Creation Of 'Mambo Number 5'<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5bhS1aYuM7ujgOqMAspt1vsN0v9G29NjrwUf7wlrIOo_nstgxXo6g7sQD1EULhVF_lE6qW7LHWX3JIp-S4Zxubn9yUJhw5rAmh7eTThI9F5sbyknWSxtYb3bn0c9xIZ0dI0TbskPKp_Co/s1600/bill+&+al+write+history+(1).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5bhS1aYuM7ujgOqMAspt1vsN0v9G29NjrwUf7wlrIOo_nstgxXo6g7sQD1EULhVF_lE6qW7LHWX3JIp-S4Zxubn9yUJhw5rAmh7eTThI9F5sbyknWSxtYb3bn0c9xIZ0dI0TbskPKp_Co/s1600/bill+&+al+write+history+(1).jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A hit song is born - the creation of 'Mambo Number 5'</td></tr>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917887670642525958.post-77290823232580714432012-03-06T13:20:00.000-08:002012-03-06T13:20:05.909-08:00Go Boston!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ0oAiX_4W8PAXnkWS20l9nKCVFtnyt3T7LkWcDaX2vT4_jEd84mEL42vRiRyOLH4qoYFapihILmOMPp35kWChykZ_J76MG6ROBtPeuaJm5tmngfEh8rAIIyiWEjVN3gnMlutF5pNCNrnL/s1600/Fantasy+Fest+2008+112.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="424" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ0oAiX_4W8PAXnkWS20l9nKCVFtnyt3T7LkWcDaX2vT4_jEd84mEL42vRiRyOLH4qoYFapihILmOMPp35kWChykZ_J76MG6ROBtPeuaJm5tmngfEh8rAIIyiWEjVN3gnMlutF5pNCNrnL/s640/Fantasy+Fest+2008+112.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Celtics Forever!!</b></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917887670642525958.post-9006256762417461622012-03-03T11:18:00.000-08:002012-03-03T11:19:11.646-08:00"Basketball Jones, I Got A Basketball Jones"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip5CtoC_Gw_RXt369WAPxcJPz3kVZFNmb1V5ZKIm_Jbo-takVCxszMslw1mlCH24_lvObvbh8CAJacwhVnU5q-RDqsTFJCAQdZ2qLE2aHsCQQ8F6hUB6We4yHlgxkUHQRA4C_GU9zck6W0/s1600/sexymay2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip5CtoC_Gw_RXt369WAPxcJPz3kVZFNmb1V5ZKIm_Jbo-takVCxszMslw1mlCH24_lvObvbh8CAJacwhVnU5q-RDqsTFJCAQdZ2qLE2aHsCQQ8F6hUB6We4yHlgxkUHQRA4C_GU9zck6W0/s640/sexymay2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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March Madness Begins!</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917887670642525958.post-65776462288480152772012-03-03T10:59:00.002-08:002012-03-03T11:00:03.400-08:00Some Guys Have All The Luck<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-mSQ4xu7GSY_nn6QmLBxP2TpQq_LzX3hKhBY_ICKsgJMZP3JMSV-te3Y32SmdKuWtgdLWmaflMBHIzObyXDhcMR9xWKKOIjmwJN9efVhYGxKUBhR7wNjbLl1kc245QCSdnXb_QGAiXFeZ/s1600/Lucky+guy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-mSQ4xu7GSY_nn6QmLBxP2TpQq_LzX3hKhBY_ICKsgJMZP3JMSV-te3Y32SmdKuWtgdLWmaflMBHIzObyXDhcMR9xWKKOIjmwJN9efVhYGxKUBhR7wNjbLl1kc245QCSdnXb_QGAiXFeZ/s640/Lucky+guy.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917887670642525958.post-40505366661329856162012-02-13T09:22:00.000-08:002012-02-13T09:22:49.809-08:00I've Discovered A New Market For My Unemployed Girlfriends<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB757S-pIF61t_HfJeYe9cHEzONp9yy0MtkCTywN5727A839BnmzGsSJ2M5rkfZ37YjE84K2EE932bIml2SWyslV3etq7FWxcM4U5rDTrhYUZDK2f8QxOir1zZBlYzBLQP9bOhIevm7pwD/s1600/80+pete.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB757S-pIF61t_HfJeYe9cHEzONp9yy0MtkCTywN5727A839BnmzGsSJ2M5rkfZ37YjE84K2EE932bIml2SWyslV3etq7FWxcM4U5rDTrhYUZDK2f8QxOir1zZBlYzBLQP9bOhIevm7pwD/s320/80+pete.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Let's say, you snore. It pisses off your wife, girlfriend, bowling partners, whatever.</div>
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According to the government, you might have <b style="font-style: italic;">Sleep Apnea, </b>especially if you drive a truck involved in interstate commerce. This infliction, they say, may cause you to become overly tired in your daily routine. A routine that involves sitting at a large, round wheel and watching white lines click by for hours & hours. Now it's hard to imagine how something as stimulating and thought provoking that would put you to sleep but add in the fact that the truck driver may have been sitting at a warehouse for hours waiting to load or unload and he or she has just listened to an hour of conversation with other drivers on how the industry operates and you might see why they could become comatose.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYz-aVDHG70Xhsx_sl7by5N7CN_zFgJhfNFuzyvD9oS3FpU69h0ayI2s8HPZlCdBgtWL1uwp9PduFU9AV-YqAD8rpT3P7A5UC0oR9u5LIMjJ5z4jR7eRqXMV2dYUItyS6AaWxb-GXgaqHu/s1600/sleeper.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYz-aVDHG70Xhsx_sl7by5N7CN_zFgJhfNFuzyvD9oS3FpU69h0ayI2s8HPZlCdBgtWL1uwp9PduFU9AV-YqAD8rpT3P7A5UC0oR9u5LIMjJ5z4jR7eRqXMV2dYUItyS6AaWxb-GXgaqHu/s1600/sleeper.jpg" /></a></div>
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Now, somewhere in the deep recesses of the federal bureaucracy, there exists an agency called the Federal Motor Carrier Safety Administration or FMCSA. The folks that operate this agency have the power to decide what happens to truck drivers at the moment they turn on the key in their trucks to the moment they turn it off. At the urging of <i>'concerned citizens' </i>(many of whom are lawyers, sleep study doctors and insurance sales people) the FMCSA has decided that sleep apnea is a plague that has descended on our nations trucking professionals and it must be eradicated using mountains of money. This would require that the FMCSA take control of the truck drivers life even when they are asleep. </div>
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Recently, that group of <i>'concerned citizens' </i>all met at a <i>'safety conference' </i>and agreed unanimously that the FMCSA should begin to determine whether a truck driver might be afflicted with sleep apnea by calculating their body mass index or BMI during routine physical exams. The hard working, public safety minded group agreed only many long, very expensive sleep study tests (performed by their members) could assure the motoring public that truck drivers were not sleeping as they piloted their monstrous commercial vehicles down America's highways. They recommended sleep studies be required for any commercial driver with a BMI of 35 or more.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiknC7VY3NA_o9qTlSATOS8PaP2xvI3eraDhrOVF_yood3nY5ktNl90p7ocfUold0EGbR6uNbET4HoMq8GOwWodu9i0rWUe7MEHwYCNoTp3M3oWD-bUEEZc6hzm20ttoKrbDImKwAVJJPEm/s1600/fat+guy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiknC7VY3NA_o9qTlSATOS8PaP2xvI3eraDhrOVF_yood3nY5ktNl90p7ocfUold0EGbR6uNbET4HoMq8GOwWodu9i0rWUe7MEHwYCNoTp3M3oWD-bUEEZc6hzm20ttoKrbDImKwAVJJPEm/s1600/fat+guy.jpg" /></a></div>
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As I explained this potential federally mandated gold mine to my currently unemployed girlfriend Anna, she smiled and slipped her warm hand under the third roll of cellulite on my chest. "Wow!" she exclaimed. "You mean I could get paid for looking at fat guys sleeping? It would be just like a weekend with you only I wouldn't have to pay!"</div>
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And so, the idea of a new cash cow (no pun intended) for my ladies was born. Here's the plan:</div>
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My new company - Sleep Lovers Underwriters Technology Systems, Inc or <b>SLUTS, Inc.</b> will develop mobile sleep apnea study vans that will operate throughout North America. These vans will carry the most up to date sleep apnea technology and the testing will be administered by my team of crack sleep experts.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_Cd6ZuSfTDkPE39EkxetyJws1p-JOscJ9fIHgKPKPGd-tO63r_AHNEnFtzm54_gXmu9U3VmFxgg-6yeF6lUJD4zJfewInFpZppU6CB2soKpyvEw8OTuEDWgJFgmHVByFvcQM2t1lvW-6X/s1600/bikini+girls.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_Cd6ZuSfTDkPE39EkxetyJws1p-JOscJ9fIHgKPKPGd-tO63r_AHNEnFtzm54_gXmu9U3VmFxgg-6yeF6lUJD4zJfewInFpZppU6CB2soKpyvEw8OTuEDWgJFgmHVByFvcQM2t1lvW-6X/s1600/bikini+girls.jpg" /></a></div>
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The studies will be completed at the drivers convenience and a certificate of compliance issued. The studies will cost less than a third of sleep clinic studies and we guarantee complete satisfaction as well as a memorable experience. The program is currently in the review process by FMCSA and will be officially announced upon acceptance by the agency.</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917887670642525958.post-8001544926055450592012-02-03T11:23:00.000-08:002012-02-03T11:23:49.093-08:00<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>Have Fun This Weekend</b></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiDQS-NPpyDi5-iY2-EMq3PkSsPBihyphenhyphenBoIppBUsaaFCs5Udscn9VYQx3g3JBcbwMFpDJXswxvAM3DhFXdrz-fqOsRzwzbdjmcS5S94rpjtkGPacoDz1F0sq2VpnXnD7nqiy5EemfZi1gKQ/s1600/just-doesnt-belong-here.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiDQS-NPpyDi5-iY2-EMq3PkSsPBihyphenhyphenBoIppBUsaaFCs5Udscn9VYQx3g3JBcbwMFpDJXswxvAM3DhFXdrz-fqOsRzwzbdjmcS5S94rpjtkGPacoDz1F0sq2VpnXnD7nqiy5EemfZi1gKQ/s640/just-doesnt-belong-here.jpg" width="488" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>But Please Be Responsible</b></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917887670642525958.post-47193566827465618392012-01-22T11:40:00.000-08:002012-01-22T11:40:13.406-08:00State Of The Union<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSJpNslguQQeuu6mWLKZT37PRduyzQFhaXVuN7yp8XY8sxlIgr6pL_gusJx1VTulozb-JOY1okq1BFZjYMsTgNhP2-S4pYb7JCuMUFoPcahyphenhyphenqUiDq1zZ2pgxWVfPCBRffTxtz8tj1GnePZ/s1600/obama-yapping-animated-1.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="152" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSJpNslguQQeuu6mWLKZT37PRduyzQFhaXVuN7yp8XY8sxlIgr6pL_gusJx1VTulozb-JOY1okq1BFZjYMsTgNhP2-S4pYb7JCuMUFoPcahyphenhyphenqUiDq1zZ2pgxWVfPCBRffTxtz8tj1GnePZ/s320/obama-yapping-animated-1.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC3LDORJ22xf2zUKN9nNYR_u2siVG6V1QRh0KItrqShtYbz-IzxFhUy8olify9lkIxNBteqKCBjE6KDbOSSv1CO5l-CHJdYsmVP3C4swI7o-f_p3s5PkqebOWdl2JSkyDIV5T3hIHZevuX/s1600/obama+yapping+2.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="152" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC3LDORJ22xf2zUKN9nNYR_u2siVG6V1QRh0KItrqShtYbz-IzxFhUy8olify9lkIxNBteqKCBjE6KDbOSSv1CO5l-CHJdYsmVP3C4swI7o-f_p3s5PkqebOWdl2JSkyDIV5T3hIHZevuX/s320/obama+yapping+2.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917887670642525958.post-39497174661155345312012-01-18T18:43:00.000-08:002012-01-18T18:43:54.968-08:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiL3VYjQ1WjhaBfNHiOQGBjEZqskBrVC7CtHKvGAwVaC1h-WBByRX8ry8Ky2K-ZRZJFQrxNVZChy8ONq8mUNrXNlsCjdhCpcPdTYMyaGlv2CJy-0JISHzKf_RsCJacDbtwbeOMZSgYzti2Q/s1600/Wanna.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="275" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiL3VYjQ1WjhaBfNHiOQGBjEZqskBrVC7CtHKvGAwVaC1h-WBByRX8ry8Ky2K-ZRZJFQrxNVZChy8ONq8mUNrXNlsCjdhCpcPdTYMyaGlv2CJy-0JISHzKf_RsCJacDbtwbeOMZSgYzti2Q/s320/Wanna.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
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"Do you wanna fight me?"</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917887670642525958.post-25874428667074698612012-01-08T13:30:00.001-08:002012-01-08T13:30:51.892-08:00Don't Mess With Those Aussy Girls<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/yyBgLriXhpQ?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917887670642525958.post-54445765187959375742012-01-06T13:12:00.000-08:002012-01-08T13:31:18.858-08:00Cat Scratch Fever<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQa43tXOHMyCZhFXDwvYqcAZYahG_qKMSdKal8mop6kZhjonI-HKLK6sI3q7oVaf8xD8wTLwSXQPdf_mmqTDqBepF89T_uOdmruTBVzg8qSxRertEb9A64XtIy9hsnQ3wdLeFlxAtbr-xN/s1600/cat+meat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="396" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQa43tXOHMyCZhFXDwvYqcAZYahG_qKMSdKal8mop6kZhjonI-HKLK6sI3q7oVaf8xD8wTLwSXQPdf_mmqTDqBepF89T_uOdmruTBVzg8qSxRertEb9A64XtIy9hsnQ3wdLeFlxAtbr-xN/s400/cat+meat.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917887670642525958.post-6444866926258866142011-12-21T10:12:00.000-08:002011-12-21T10:14:07.533-08:00<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Getting The Big Story</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">It's all about</span><br />
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<object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://i.ytimg.com/vi/wBT2Di_DMCo/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/wBT2Di_DMCo?version=3&f=user_uploads&c=google-webdrive-0&app=youtube_gdata" />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Ratings, ratings, ratings.</span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917887670642525958.post-44961182180821075892011-12-19T10:34:00.001-08:002011-12-19T10:35:14.889-08:00<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b><i><u>Apple does it again </u></i></b><i>Apple Computer announced today that it has developed</i> <i>a computer chip that can store and play high fidelity</i> <i>music in women's breast implants. <br /><br />The <b><span style="color: blue;">iTit</span> </b>will cost between $499.00 and $699.00</i> <br /><i>depending on speaker size.</i> <br /><i><br />This is considered to be a major breakthrough because</i> <i>women have always complained about men staring</i> <i>at their tits and not listening to them.</i></span></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917887670642525958.post-68095833761870603372011-12-19T10:05:00.000-08:002011-12-19T10:06:23.610-08:00Kim Jong IL II Has Died<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>The great leader has died and his nation mourns his passing.</b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>At the same time, the future of the country is at stake and the next leader is called upon to make changes...</b></span></div>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917887670642525958.post-90955484935324506732011-12-15T08:33:00.000-08:002011-12-15T08:34:08.826-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Becoming Illegal </b></span><br />
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<b><u>Actual letter from an Iowa resident as sent to his US Senator</u></b><br />
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The Honorable Tom Harkin <br />
731 Hart Senate Office Building <br />
Phone (202) 224 3254 <br />
Washington DC , 20510 <br />
<br />
Dear Senator Harkin , <br />
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As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service , I am writing to ask for your assistance. <br />
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I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.. <br />
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My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. <br />
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If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out. <br />
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Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005. <br />
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Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year. <br />
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Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as 'in-state' tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son. <br />
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Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums .. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car. <br />
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If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. <br />
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Thank you for your assistance. <br />
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Your Loyal Constituent,<br />
(hoping to reach 'illegal alien' status rather than just a bonafide citizen of the USA ) <br />
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<br />
Donald Ruppert <br />
Burlington , IAUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0