Thursday, May 27, 2010

British Petroleum Babe Demonstrates "Top Kill" Method

BP executive secretary Wendy Goodbottom demonstrates the companies "Top Kill" method it uses when filing well permit applications and well safety reports with the Federal Minerals Management Agency.

She was photographed at the companies clean up command center at Grand Isle, Louisiana.

Ms. Goodbottom rose quickly through the ranks at British Petroleum and was popular at the companies congressional supporters parties that are held regularly in the Bahamas.

She was famous for running through the resorts yelling, "Drill baby, drill!"

"The only oil on these beauties is Coppertone", she quipped to the photographer.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

I Signed My Dogs Up For Federal Assistance

This morning I went to sign my Dogs up for welfare.

At first the lady said, "Dogs are not eligible to draw welfare".

I explained to her that my Dogs are mixed in color, unemployed,

can't speak English and have no frigging clue who their Daddies are.

They expect me to feed them, provide them with housing and medical care.
So she looked in her policy book to see what it takes to qualify.

My Dogs get their first checks on Friday.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

The Fire Chief Explained it All

In South Los Angeles , a 4-plex was destroyed by a fire.

A Mexican family of six, all welfare recipients and gang members lived on the first floor, they died

An Islamic group of seven welfare cheats, all illegally in the country from Kenya , lived on the second floor, and they, too, all perished in the fire.

6 LA, Hispanic, Gang Bangers, & ex-cons, lived on the 3rd floor and they, too, died.

A lone, white couple lived on the top floor. The couple survived the fire.

Jesse Jackson, John Burris and Al Sharpton were furious. They flew into LA and met with the fire chief, on camera. They loudly demanded to know why the Blacks, Black Muslims and Hispanics all died in the fire and why only the white couple lived?

The fire chief said, "They were at work."