|Tea Party Time|
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Giant Medicare patient using $4,890 worth of taxpayer provided medication A DAY! Terri Shaw was a part time worker at McDonald's for 12 years and was fired for theft of food products.
She was interviewed for a position in the Obama administration early in 2009 but was unable to fit into the White House elevator and was given a position in the Health & Human Services Agency.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
A bit of history. Our "little" girl is growing up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This week we celebrate a special birthday.
Monica Lewinsky turns 44.
It seems like only yesterday, she was crawling around the White House on her hands and knees, putting everything in her mouth.
They grow up so fast, don't they?
Joe asks for 6 months of retraining for 'Cattle Guards'!CATTLE GUARDS, THIS IS ABOUT AS GOOD AS THEM WANTING TO CHANGE THE LAW OF PHYSICS!
You will love this one, I haven't stop laughing yet.
For those of you who have never traveled to the west, or southwest, cattle guards are horizontal steel rails placed at fence openings, in dug-out places in the roads adjacent to highways (sometimes across highways), to prevent cattle from crossing over that area. For some reason the cattle will not step on the "guards," probably because they fear getting their feet caught between the rails.
A few months ago, President Obama received and was reading a report that there were over 100,000 cattle guards in Colorado . The Colorado ranchers had protested his proposed changes in grazing policies, so he ordered the Secretary of the Interior to fire half of the “cattle” guards immediately!
Before the Secretary of the Interior could respond and presumably try to straighten President Obama out on the matter, Vice-President Joe Biden, intervened with a request that...before any “cattle” guards were fired, they be given six months of retraining for Arizona border guards. 'Times are hard', said Joe Biden, 'it's only fair to the cattle guards and their families!'And these two guys are running our country, OMG!
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
THIS IS JUST AN INCREDIBLE STORY !!!!
In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University ...
On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife,after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments.Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled.Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked awayPeter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son.As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned andwalked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing
The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down.The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant.Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure.He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs
and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.
Probably wasn't the same elephant.
This is for everyone who sends those heart-warming bullshit stories. : )
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
Brilliant, isn't he?Now this is funny!As soon as he figures out how to walk through that gate holding an umbrella, he'll take care of the economy, health care, Wall Street, Iraq, Afghanistan, unemployment and a few things more. But first things first.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Friday, August 20, 2010
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep,
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's rich and self-employed,
And when I spend, won't be annoyed.
Pull out my chair and hold my hand.
Massage my feet and help me stand.
Oh send a king to make me queen.
A man who loves to cook and clean.
I pray this man will love no other.
And relish visits with my mother.
*A Man's Poem*
I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with
big tits who owns a bar on a golf course, and a boat
and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Phone Repair Order:
Lawrence , Kansas, December 12, 2008
A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.
The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady. He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house.
The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring.
Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:
1 . The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire with a steel chain
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was called.
4.. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.
5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.
Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by
pissing and moaning.
Thought you'd like to know.
Monday, August 9, 2010
The Congress began summer recess last week with a picnic on the grounds of the capitol. Here, Congressman Willy Wanker, D - NC samples some of the home brew provided by Congressman Barney Frank, D - MA.
Known around Washington as "Barney Beer", the flavor leaves something to be desired but the head is unforgettable.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
“Honesty is not something you should flirt with-You should be married to it.”
Be funny if you can. If you can't, go away.